Dear Friends,

I love you so hard
I am popping a wheelie in my heart for you
I love you so hard
it's like a fist through a skull
inappropriate and unnecessarily demonstrative
I love you like this man loves his dog
like a forty loves a stoop
like I love a stoop except more
My love is a zombie--always rarin' to go
it wants to eat your face
I want to eat your face
and the brain behind it
I want to eat your brain and
chew on your spinal chord
like it's breaded calamari
If I could, I would pick you up
and chuck you into some clouds
I would break your glasses
even if you don't wear glasses
I would give you my glasses to wear
and then break them
just to watch you cry
because the tears would be your soul
coming out of your face
for me to look at
If you ever have children
I will swallow them whole
like that greek god and
you'll have to give me a rock dressed
in baby clothes to get me to
puke them back up again
I love you so hard

Philosophy

"Everyone chooses her favorite delusion." -- Lindsey Boldt circa 1995 (or so)


"Mine is something to do with love." -- Lindsey Boldt circa 2009


* Berlin Alexanderplatz: Mieze and Franz believe that they love each other. They betray each other and themselves. They keep choosing to believe that if nothing else, their time together is important, significant, the thing. How will the truth be revealed to them? I don't know and am not sure that I can finish the series--it is not helping--so I wake up from too much sleep and listen to the following songs:

"Not On Top" Herman Dune
"Don't Watch Me Dancing" Little Joy
"Corrina Corrina" Ray Peterson
"Be My Baby" The Ronettes
"Thirteen" Big Star
"True Affection" The Blow
"Me Gustas Tu" Manu Chao

Huh.

I was generally amourous towards my fellow man, wanting very much to kiss and cuddle the populus, but wishing it would make the first move, showing me first that yes, it wanted me.

The confidence to extend one's lips to the world comes from repeated occasions of success and lapses in these makes for tentative lip chewing and ingestion of one's own skin.

Would maybe that a tawdry frolick would do but then if it were only sensation I was after I would suck/kiss my own arm, talk to myself, keep a journal...