Sunday, October 10, 2010



sexy overload of sunday laze-factor
live large outside of life's dress size
maxed out girl time over bottomless evervescents
into the wilds and sex shops for gear
to drop dough hunks on sex gear
for later dates with loved ones set
simple doo-hickey change your life up
win yourself over and over til upended
the bike ride puts sweat in the kecks
and haighters are listless, too pekid to sp-ange

sexy slipping
foot into shoe

workable sex experiences at the Goodwill
looking forward to
nabokov in the workplace
fat colors in the mouth
oversexed and hi def fuckable
def fuckable
winny, winny uh-oh
Po-po on the rally
sexperts on the numbers game
shipping back and forth
finite good hair
aeroles of good hair
maxed out good hair
when the sun goes down i know its time to
tickle my ivory fingers
against my black keys


jangling off rings, so important
I have the most keys
my tusks are long
i have the most keys
more keys than anyone
this is how you know that i am important
'cause who has the most keys that you know?
janitors and janitors get the most respect
I have no keys
and THIS is how you know I am important
i don't make clinking sounds anymore
i have no keys

keys to convertibles
keys to garages
keys to closets
keys to broom closets
keys to offices
keys to houses
keys to airstream trailers
keys to classrooms
keys to pantries
keys to cities
keys to indoor aquatic centers
keys to Key Arena
keys to Arco Arena
keys to Cow Palace
keys to The Great American Music Hall
keys to The Millenium Falcon (bleh)
keys to The Death Star (bleh, bleh, bleh)
keys to fancy cocktail joints
keys to whatever

and keys to the castle gate
the castle gate key
is winging, whipping round my left tusk
i'm breathing heavily
and someone wants to know
how i know who to let in
and I'm all:

what gate key?

oh this gate key

and my Giant Eye watches the key whip around my tusk
but what gate key?

i can't admit to this person that there is a gate key
i can't admit that there is a gate
i have no such key
i have the most keys because i am
the most important
but i have no keys at all
cuz, that's how you know who's
the most important
the one with no keys
i don't open anything anymore
it is opened for me
i don't even open my emails anymore
my keys have transformed into people

door guy
elevator guy
personal assistant
personal chef
personal trainer

but this is a poem about my community
and the tusks i use to defend
what gate?
if you ask me where the gate is
i will deny the existence of the gate
but you will know it by its position
behind my back
it'll be easy to spot
because it will be closed
and when doors are closed to you
you can see them more easily
because they are positioned perpendicularly
to your line of sight
in this position doors are planular (hack)
when they're open, all you can see
is a an oblique shape, a rhombus perhaps
or if its really open
only the line running parallel to the rectangle
of your open space

so that's easy



if you show up looking
to get past my bouncer shoulder
slip me an attention twenty
and we'll see what "we" can do
we're sexed up and broke
but we might be able to recognize your personhood


Stan Apps said...

That was good for a Monday! Thanks!

Ridiculous Human Things said...

Thanks, buddy!