This jerk of a blog needs a revamp. What's a girl to do? Maybe the blog is over, but I am so attached. This blog has been my blog for some time now, probably years that I don't feel like calculating yet even as I type I am calculating. A while. What's in it for a blog? This blog has lost its joie de vivre and I feel the need to inject it with raison d'etre, yunno? Doof. It's like, all been done! I've DONE EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING person could do on a blog I HAVE DONE IT. It's so frustrating. I've really just out done myself and now I find myself with no way to EXPRESS myself. Myself. What's a girl to do? I want to blog about my literary experiences this week but a) feel that it would feel tedious to type out my notes from the events b) data from the focus group held last week indicates that readers are NOT interested in reading about literary events c) I want to make my posts funny and I don't feel all that funny right now d) time spent blogging could be time spent...doing lesson plans or some crud. All terrible excuses for depriving you of my insight into Bay Area Literary Culture outside and beyond the AVANT GARDE POETIC COMMUNITY. Boff. Also, there is a jackass dog belting his (too jerky to be a girl dog--SEXIST) guts out outside my window (beyond my window). He sounds like someone is forcefully squeezing him over and over forcing harsh, pained air from his body, like when I squeeze my cat just to hear her squeak. He stopped and now he's going again. It's a machine that's squeezing him. A pneumatic press with two paddedpaddles. His eyes bulge *SQUEEZE* BARK! *SQUEEZE* BARK!
Anyway, this blog doesn't know what it is. It doesn't even have a gender, unlike the dog. It's identity politics are all out of wack. I can tell you that my blog is not a lady from Marin County, at least not one who recites verses of Rumi or Leonard Cohen or Stanley Kuniz (poem about Salmon life cycle for instance) with hand held mic in hand, working the crowd, making eye contact, all to the soundtrack of electric cello (which I did see happen 3 times Tuesday night at a fundraiser for California Poets in the Schools at which I performed as The Human Jukebox and hung out with my friend Dana Teen Lomax and her fantastic daughter Una). See, I DO want to write about that event and also the reading at Radar Reading and how completely charming and hott Michelle Tea is, but my blog is confused about itself, so today is not the day. Maybe this weekend, although my friend Persephone is coming to town and we will probably do girl things. I am excited for girl things. I mostly hang out with boys: Steve, Matthew, Brandon, John and Morgan (female) if I am lucky because she is in grad school and very busy. I am open to changing this dynamic, but it seems to take lots of work. That said, let's have a date. I like tea. I enjoy museums. I often have lunchtimes free. I enjoy walks. I like to chat. I like you, you maybe like me, let's have a date.
*SQUEEZE* BARK! again and again without any discernable *SQUEEZE* BARK! cause. Cause is not the right word to use there.
So, have a good day. I'm thinking of you. Take care of yourself, drink lots of water, pee after sex, have a glass of water for every cigarette you smoke to avoid dehydration, don't smoke it's bad for you, go for a walk, turn OFF the pneumatic dog press.