One, Two, Three, Four, Five

1. Those who can sublimate go to New York and do. Those who cannot come to San Francisco and don't...do that...they don't sublimate.

2. Kathy Acker is too hot to read on the train to work. It's inappropriate and makes me feel like a creep, sitting there, rumbling along with people, reading and feeling hot, thinking she's right about everything, especially about San Francisco.

3. I feel like there should be a three. Lately my books are inappropriate for the train: too big, too hot, too religious.

4. In the book, I am Kathy Acker and Ron Silliman is this friend of mine and Paris is New York and San Francisco is San Francisco.

5. In "Overboard", Kathy is played by Goldie Hawn and Ron is played by Kurt Russell.

R. Kelly sings Kathy Acker

I watched R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" for the first time on Saturday night at BB and AW's house and now a strange thing is happening:  when I sit down to read, and last night it was Kathy Acker's Great Expectations, the usual reading voice that resounds in my head and makes me a slow reader has been replaced by R. Kelly singing the text to the tune of "Trapped in the Closet".  Imagine:

This:  "I knew there could be no way I would live with a man because, while I desperately needed total affection, I wasn't willing to give up my desires which is what men want and I couldn't trust.  The men who were part of my life weren't really part of my life:  Clifford who I hated and the delivery boys who were weaklings..."

or even better:  "Author:  Huh?  What rare discourse are you fall'n upon, ha?  Ha' you found any friend here, that you are so free?  Away rogue, it's come to a fine degree in these spectacles when such a youth as you pretend to a judgement."

Unlikely pairing or genius mash-up?  You decide.

Great Expectations

by Kathy Acker

"Terence told my fortune--whatever that means--but a fairly, it seems to me, precise psychic map of the present, therefore: the future.
I asked the cards about future boyfriends. This question involved the following thoughts: Would the guy who fucked me so well in France be in love wit me? Will I have a new boyfriend? As Terence told me to do, I cut the cards into four piles: earth water fire air. We found my significator, April 18th, in the water or emotion fantasy pile. The first image was a fat purring human cat surrounded by the Empress and the Queen of Pentacles. This cluster, traveling through a series of other clusters that, like mirrors, kept defining or explained the first cluster more clearly--time is an almost recurring conical--led to the final unconscious image: during Christmas the whole is rejecting a male and a female kid who are scum by birth. To the right of the scum is the Star. To the left is the card of that craftsmanship which due to hard work succeeds."

I Dreamt I was a Nymphomaniac, really

So I'm making out with Tommy Lee, of Motley Crüe, and I whisper into his ear, "Did you know that some men taste of coins?" then I lean in a bit further and whisper, "I want to count your change."


--I'm pretty sure I can thank Ms. Acker for this one.

Antidote to Sex and the City and also these things are just bound to happen...

From I Dreamt I was a Nymphomaniac:

"I nod hello to Dan. He announces he's getting married: introduces the woman with whom he's going to get married. I walk away to get more champagne. As I return to the balcony, a blonde woman walks up to the group the stranger says "I didn't know you wanted to come here." He introduces his wife to us. I'm going crazy but withstraining myself admirably. If I don't fuck someone soon know someone wants me, I'll have to ride my horse for three days again: do something wilder. I can't stop myself. I get another drink. Mel someone walks up to us says "I'm the only man here who isn't married or about to be married" meaning I might as well fuck him because I'm so desperate. I ask him to marry me since I have a lot of money: I'll support him. I tell him how much money I have. He says "Yes. I tell him to go shit on himself. I'm in a lousy mood."



--perhaps this is no antidote at all but something better. i've seen this scene played out in designer clothing and located in New York rather than good ol' San Francisco. i saw it on tv. the movie was awful. the show has it's moments. this is not an advertisement. except that it is one for Kathy Acker. this is not literary criticism. how can i escape feeling like a salesman on this blog? my posts are tuned to an entertaining pitch and kept short and punchy like marketing copy. one big blurb, but what for? a blurb for me? just so you know, internet, i'm fantastic! like shampoo, i'm fantastic like shampoo is fantastic. What is going on here? What.

--stay tuned for clips from Freud's Totem and Taboo it'll blow your mind and then make you reevaluate your value system! Yeah!

I Dreamt I was a Nymphomaniac

"I'm a poet and what I do is sacred. The people who keep me from the few lousy instruments I need to disseminate this crap are evil. They're using the instruments for business. They've no regard for those activities which are sacred." -- Kathy Acker