Friday, August 5, 2011

Daily Rough for a Rough Present


Everything is super fucked
not just me
I have learned
and though it makes me queasy
it makes me long for it coming faster on

Things will break down and explode
they will, it will, we will, sera, sera
and is it sick or bad to want it?

But it is like - I think - the heaving of a sick stomach
puking until the sickness is rid
knowing you'll feel better after
so you puke
don't hold your hurl in

the sick before
which I feel inside of
the rising temperature
the shaking tremors
the sweating out
then wretching-puking wretching-puking
dry heaves too like after shocks
and then - i hope -
exhausted rest

This is a good riddance


welcome to my earthlink
no place like
galactic water works
tear jerking black holes
if we run out here, can we get it from there?
does the internet shine?
billions of screen clusters
lighting up
faces turn blue in them
absorb rather than emit
gamma rays from the man on the moon marigolds
whatever your cat thinks
about the internet


Kittycat puke a thon
love on regular supply
objects appear shiny
and are shiny -- in fact
the pain that ceases to interest
goes deep
flies under
fear of the good
but the brain does nothing interesting anymore
it's so quiet
it's oh so quiet
no place for art in it
fear of loss of self
fear of loss of self
fear of loss of self


I don't know how to write about work
I can't think straight

The work is weaved into the life
I take it home
It happens at home
and out in the world
in not just one place
but all over
and I want it to happen more
more on the sidewalk
more on the BART
more in my living room
more in your living room
more in the school
and in the anti-school (prison)
and how about the office too?
and all together now
and all together now

deep breath in


To be as big and bright as...

Kathleen Hannah
Angela Davis
Kathy Acker
Nina Simone
Eileen Myles
Goldie Hawn
Julia Marshburn
Steve Orth
Morgan Levy
Salem Peterson
Sara Larsen
Margaret Tedesco
Pam Martin
Ted Rees
Patti Smith
Mick Jagger
Bruce Springsteen
Clarence Clemmons
Beth Ditto
Brandon Brown
The Tight Bro's From Way Back When
Kevin Killian
Holly Golightly
Michelle Tea
Dodie Bellamy
Nomy Lamm
Beth Ditto
Ariel Goldberg
Jackqueline Frost
Honora Considine Cortelyou
Persephone Lewis
David Hilliard


eyes broke from too much sleep
with contacts
what a disappointment
to Angela Davis
Kathleen Hannah
Kathy Acker
really wasting
Maybe I am the biggest loser
Hiding out from domestic issues
Head in a pile of international
but really nothing
dreaming up big ones
taking no kind of ones
all clogged
and eyes broke
white space too glaring
screens flashing bright white
I'm red on the inside
Get me outta here.
Can't event see the bus let alone ride on it
Perfect semi permanent grimace
Splashing angry
Shitty, shitty, shit box
listening grumpy
to Horror Core Hip Hop
and Electronic Indie Sulk
talk of jamming cocks down white bitch's throats
and what it's like not to exist
I want to be Parker Posey
in Party Girl
but I am her --
slightly elder twenty-something
pouting, bewildered sister
I want to be Parker Posey in anything
add P.P. to my list of
Angela Davis
Kathleen Hannah
Kathy Acker
Eileen Myles
Sara Larsen
Patti Smith

Taking names
trying them on
dressing up in productivity
what if I wasn't a giant fuck up
My airstream trailer waits for me
chilling in a bleached out field
rocking highlights of bright white light
blaring off her big round hide-back side
I have a dream and she is it
Imagine me unhinged
a door released, flipped and cruising
parallel to the earth
but higher
stopping only, alighting
to blow minds with my antics
I exist only by hovering - disconnected
I don't want to affect anything
rather want to embrace my floating looseness
shithead floaty
laying frontside up in a pool
engorged, soggy, full up w/
I don't want to feel good
I can do that tomorrow.

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