Louis CK - an unfinished thought

Louis C.K. should write and direct a feature film a la John Cassavettes. Steve and I have discussed this. He is doing something really great, I think. Hard to put my finger on what that greatness is. Have you seen his show "Louie"? It feels very timely, very right on the money for his specific white middle-aged American male experience. Maybe that is what is so satisfying about the show and his stand up, that he has his particular experience dialed. He knows where he is at, he's not deluding himself and he is perfectly willing to admit fault to a ruthless degree that I have not seen matched in comedy and XXXXX, and does so with confidence, without relying on solely self-depricating humor. There is a lot of self-depricating humor, okay, most of his humor is that, but it doesn't end up in the shallow end of self-pity. He's able to express a truly complex and bewildering experience with candor and self awareness. Maybe it's easy for him to go out on a limb and say risky things because he is in a fairly safe position to do so, being a white American male, still GOOD FOR HIM for DOING it. I'm not saying that what he's doing is revolutionary but it is incredibly thoughtful, self-aware, really smart, really sublimely funny stuff and not like any stand-up or "sit-com" writing I've ever seen. It is awesome.

I appreciate too, that Louis (first name basis?) recognizes his position, privilaged as it is, and will remark on its privlaged nature (see "Louis CK : Chewed Up"). He says, yes it is awesome being white (and male), not because white people are inherently better but because it is an objectively good (beneficial) situation to find oneself in, and if you don't admit that it is great to be white in America (or anywhere for that matter), then you are an asshole.

I appreciate that Louis recognizes that he's in a privilged position and still chooses to take risks, maybe that should be a given, but it really isn't. Most people take risks up until the point where they are comfortable and then stop, only choosing to continue to take risks when necessary to secure and maintain that comfort.

CK (feels less awkward), as a character/persona is slightly pathetic, but only I think because it behooves him to be so. His posture, his self-depricating humor, all kind of say "I'm sorry for being alive and taking up space." but not really. A lot of white, American men, if they're at all aware of power dynamics and the fact that they are in a pretty sweet position from birth, often feel the need to apologize for this fact and efface their power. I think this is necessary to a degree, the acknowledgement bit but I also think it can get out of hand and get to be pretty unhealthy.

As a caveat I would like to say that in my experience, watching straight white men loudly pronounce how fucking awesome they are either literally or in embarassingly transparent attempts to mask an expression of the same sentiment, effectively and simultaneously drowning out any other voices in the room and sucking the energy and will from everyone present is one of THE MOST obnoxious, infuriating, embarassing and exhausting sensory experiences a person can have, one that I thought didn't happen anymore because of the company I tend to keep, but I can tell you from recent experience, does in fact exist and it's a bummer. I would also like to add that this experience would be awful no matter who was doing it, but that generally the only people that can get away with this behavior currently are straight white American men, with exceptions I'm sure. This expression of unlimited confidence can feel incredibly unsettling, more because of its obvious reliance on an overabundance of delusion which lends the character and/or actions of the person in question an anxiety producing level of precarity and unpredictability. However, it is important to note that behaving this way is just as delusional as its extreme opposite: self-pity and victimhood, which is equally if less obviously exhausting and frustrating. Everyone, EVERYONE needs to erect certain amount of delusional cordoning within one's psyche just to function--I imagine a sort of rabbit warren of tunnels and hollowed out dens for friendship, romance, family, work, etc. I also like the image of a giant office space maze of cubicles, with moveable, foldable walls. This is why regular wash cycles of critical self reflection are necessary.

What I enjoy about CK is that he lets us in on his process of self-reflection. He walks us through moments of psychic inventory. Such as, Whoa, I just had a really upsetting thought about my child, who I love but also hate right now because she won't go to sleep, but if she doesn't sleep then tomorrow is going to suck and I will feel like shit and she will feel like shit and I know this but she doesn't and etc. etc.

I think one of the reasons why new narrative writing like Dodie Bellamy's, Bruce Boone's, Bob Gluck's and recently (the new new narrative) of Dana Ward's book "Typing 'Wild Speech'" has felt so satisfying to me is that these writers like CK (odd comparison maybe but apt I think) provide a model, flawed as it may be, of how one might practice the art of critical self reflection, how one might mine one's own psyche and how its products and one's analysis of them could even become useful to others.

xxx this is where I stopped realizing that this should continue but realizing that won't be happening anytime soon. Still, holler at me if you want to continue the conversation. There's little bits of things in here I want to pick out.

Love,
Lindsey

does tend toward what could be called the self-depricating this some, yes, but by being a performer, writer, director etc. and very successful ones, he legitimizes his position and says, Yes it sucks that mostly only people like me get to be in this position (especially in comedy) but I know I'm good at this, I'm going to do this better than anyone else, and I'm going to bring my intelligence, self awareness and critical brain to it and make a real impact.